Courtship

For those who are not married let’s examine the process of courtship. There are five stages to a relationship. Before these stages begin, we must consider a few things. Is this person a true believer? And if they are a believer, do they have godly character manifested in their life? Are they consistent, honest, do they bounce from job to job and house to house? Is there stability in their life? Brother Branham says this in the sermon, “Choosing of a Bride”:

“Now, that’s the only way you could choose. First, look for character and, then, if you love her. Fine.” [1]

Stage 1 is acquaintance. Where did you meet this person and take an interest in them? From there, you build some sort of friendship from afar, which is stage 2: friendship.

Never get too close to them so that you do not become emotionally attached before you understand what kind of person they are. This is the stage where you want need to find out if they have godly character and are worthy of being a spouse. During the entire process you must pray and ask God what to do, moving forward. Then as you decide, and you feel that perhaps this is the person you wish to marry, but you do not have 100% certainty (or perhaps you do), you start courting each other, which is stage 3.

The decision to start courting should be based upon prayer and the leadership of God, not lust. During courtship you are spending time together in public or with your family or church to get to know each other better and decide if you feel the leading of God to get engaged.

Depending on the age of the couple, and if the young lady is living with her parents, the young man should approach the father and ask permission to court his daughter. During courtship, take the time to get to know each other; don’t be in a rush; pray together over the will of God for your relationship; take every step with deep sincerity and honor for each other. Courtship is defined as praying for discernment for the will of God and getting to know each other and your families better.

Once the decision has been made, that you desire to marry, the man (or his parents depending on the cultural situation) should approach the lady’s father and ask for her hand in marriage; then you are engaged: this is stage 4. During this period, the couple should guard themselves and their hearts and they must set clear boundaries not to cross. Engagement means you WILL be married, not you are engaged, then unengaged, etc. Notice what Brother Branham says about this:

“86. “Joseph, fear not, take unto thee Mary thy wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.” He was minded to put her away privately, see, after he’d already engaged to her. When you’re engaged to her, as far as God is concerned, you’re married to her.” [2]

When you are engaged you are committed to marriage. Avoid kissing, hugging and being alone in a room together. If you go against the word of God you are committing fornication and will answer to God in judgement. You should not engage in hugging, kissing, petting or anything sexual before marriage.

Stage 5 is entering into the marriage covenant before God.

A relationship with the opposite sex is not something to be taken lightly. Dating a person, then another and then another and back to the first one is unacceptable behavior. This is not the lifestyle and approach of a Christian. This is what the world does, and it is against the word of God. Every relationship with the opposite sex should be taken very seriously, since you can put yourself in compromising positions. Never be alone in a room with a person of the opposite sex that is not a member of your direct family. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.”

“156. Is it right for Christian men and women to kiss one another (Oh!) on greeting? No, sir. No indeedy. No, sir. You kiss one woman, brother, that’s your wife (See?), or your—your child, or what… See? “Is it right for…” Let me see if I got that right. “Is it right for Christian men and women to kiss one another on greetings?” No, sir. No indeedy. That… Don’t you never get that started. Yes, sir. No, sir. You keep away from women. Shun away from them. Exactly right. Now, they’re our sisters, but don’t… Now, they got that. That in… That thing even got over in Pentecost, and it’s called “free love.” And when you do—get anything like that, you stay away from it. That’s right. I don’t care how clean you are… You’re my brother, and I—I believe that you’re—you might be a good sanctified, holy man. I don’t care how holy you are; you’re still a man. And I don’t care how holy she is; she’s still a woman. Stay away from it till you’re married. You just do that.

124. Remember, the body… I’m going to speak double now, so that you older people will understand. It’s a mixed group, but I’m your brother, and this was the question. See? Each human being male and female have a different type of gland. A female has a female gland, sex gland. A male has a male gland, sex gland. And those glands lay in the human lips. That’s right.” [3]

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[1] 65-0429E, The Choosing Of A Bride, Rev. William Marrion Branham

[2] 65-1125, The Invisible Union Of The Bride Of Christ, Rev. William Marrion Branham

[3] 61-1015M, Questions And Answers, Rev. William Marrion Branham