In Ephesians 5:25 Paul commands us in the epistle to the Ephesians to love our wives as Christ loves the church. This is a command that each of us as men must take very seriously. For Christ loved us to the point of death even death on the cross. He gave his life up for his wife that she would be washed, cleansed and presented perfect and holy to God.
How does this apply to us as husbands?
In Matthew 10:37 we are commanded to love God first and foremost before our children, parents and even our own selves. If we do not put God first then we are incapable of truly loving those we are in a relationship with here on earth. Without being in a right relationship with God we cannot be in a right relationship with our wife, children and parents.
After first loving God we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church. That means we are to live a sacrificial life for her good not for our own. It means first and foremost we are servants to our wives. We serve our wives by being an example of the character of Christ to them. Modeling a life of prayer, a life dedicated to the Scriptures and loving our neighbor, enemies and all. It doesn’t mean we are to chastise, rebuke and criticize our wife. We are to be an example of Jesus Christ to her. Then it means to meet her needs. It means to provide for her in the natural, but also in the emotional and spiritual.
Of course each of us as husbands must realize only God can meet every need our wife has and only God can meet every need we have. We cannot look first to our wife and ask for her to meet our need. Jesus did not do this to the church. First we must look to God to meet our needs and through the power of Christ we have the attitude and approach that I desire to meet my wife’s physical and emotional needs.
I just wrote a poem for my wife and it speaks clearly a point I want to leave with you about love.
Loving my wife should always be
The way she desires my love to see.
So that she can understand my care
In a way that shows love true and clear.
It should be a way that speaks to her heart,
My husband has truly set me apart.
Each of us has a way that we communicate love to each other. Some serve by preparing dinner, cleaning around the home, etc. Others show love by buying gifts. Some show love by spending quality, focused time with each other. Others show love by hugging and touching their wife. It is important for us as husbands to know what speaks love to our wives. If your wife receives love the best by getting quality time with her husband don’t simply help her around the home. Spend some quality time with her by getting a babysitter and going for a walk and focusing on her. Or go out for a date to a restaurant, etc.
Just as Christ knew the need of his wife (the church) and went to meet that need so we as husbands must know the emotional needs of our wives and to learn how to best meet them.
Many problems in marriage are a result of the husband feeling like his wife is not meeting his need or the wife not feeling like the husband is meeting her need. It is important for us as husbands to realize we are the leaders and we are called by God to lead by loving our wives. Do not wait for your wife to love you or to meet your need first. You take the initiative, just as Christ did, go and find out what speaks love to your wife and meet that need as best as you can.
Sometimes there are huge walls and problems built up between husbands and wives because of this very thing. Men, be leaders and love your wife. Study her and find out how you can truly bless and love her with Christ’s love.